focus on your outcome//

2006-02-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

Okay, Nie got me into this new RPG thingy that looks really cool (but I'm so bewildered by it!). It's some International School for rich kids kinda setting...

I made a character called ALEXANDER. Oh lol how long I haven't used that name. I used it like when? When I was 12? For fanfiction!

Oh hohohoho.

Anyway, the link to it is here!

To the people nie hasn't already attacked, check it out. You might like it :)

2006-01-02T00:53:00.000+08:00

I realized I accidently didn't post the this, so I'm posting it now.

I've moved to livejournal. Here the link woo! relink, if you have to.

2005-12-03T12:41:00.000+08:00

my life is a drama serial, and it will end when I die.

my mother doesn't want this family anymore, my father got chased out of the house, three maids ran away from my house, my mother's moving out, my mother doesn't want me anymore, my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore.

i'm only a kid, i can't take this.

2005-11-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

Just a thought I had today while reading a ficlet.

An old, but still very much lively midwife comes out from the women's chambers, smiling, and in her arms holding a lovely baby.

"Congradulations, sir, you have a wonderful boy."

The father, overwhelmed with pride and joy, takes the baby gently out of the midwife's arms, stroking him. He was going to be a proud father, a good father. He was going to bring up his son well. He walked into the women's chambers, wanting to show his son to his wife. She'll be proud too. This was theirs. This was their flesh and blood in his arms. He looked up, and gasped.

The midwife's assistants were pulling a sheet of white cloth over the head of his wife.

She was dead.

2005-11-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

I shall become very dragon-like and complain about my school and work. Or not really complain, because I love me work and my school, it's just that I'm a bit overwhelmed with things to do now. And I have a Michael Bolton concert to attend on Sunday. I'm already missing a chalet this weekend, and going out with Nie to buy Tees.

I'm sorry Nie, I really don't think I can make it... Unless we go there straight and I come home straight. Then we can at the same time buy paint.

I wanted to blog about a certain something I felt quite strongly about, but I can't seem to remember it at the moment, so when it comes to me again, I'll remember to blog it.

Till then!

2005-11-21T11:56:00.000+08:00

So, tell me, how was Harry Potter?

Like every other movie, it has it's pros and cons. I found the filming really good this time, and you could really connect with the characters, unlike the other movies where they characters all stood in the sidelides while you watched the movie unfold. There was a good use of Fred and George, though, seemingly a little too much of them. Daniel's acting improved tremendously since the third movie, and he deserves a pat on the back for that. Ron wasn't just "comic relief" anymore, and you actually saw other sides of him. I didn't think they'd add in the characters quarrelling, but they did, and it was good. I especially loved the pensieve scene where it foreshadows (don't hound me, I know) book six. It was a very subtle thing, and difficult to catch if you were completely in the movie.

There were a few things that irked me and one was the entrance of the other schools. It was so random, really. I was sitting there going, "What was that?". It was a pity that they didn't include the whole quidditch match, though I know it had nothing to do with going on with the whole story. They spent far too much time on the dragon as well, in my opinion. Why was the dragon crawling on the roof? That part I didn't get either. Dumbledore seemed very out of character. I don't think anyone can replace Richard Harris as Dumbledore. He was the best. Since when did Dumbledore get violent?

The show moved a bit too fast for my liking. You don't feel time passing. It's like a few weeks worth of events were cramped into minutes.

There were other random things that made me thouroughly enjoy myself. Like the fact that Harry became gay with Cedric after Cedric died(I'm sorry GV people, I know I shouldn't have laughed so loudly).

But I am happy.

2005-11-15T16:50:00.000+08:00

I am currently sitting very happily in school, and surfing the net on my laptop, and listening to A Million Ways! I'm so happy! It finally works, after much toil and everything else. Much thanks, much much much thanks goes to Junhao, who made it all work for me. Thanks you SO much! You have no idea how much this means to me, you know?

*throws confetti around

That means now I can surf in school, anywhere. And I can play RO in school. At least, I think so. Haven't tried it yet. Darling can use my laptop too, since his computer is down.

Yaaaaay!! Thanks a million, Junhao, really. Though I know you probably won't read this, but thank you.

2005-11-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

I went shopping today! Wheee! Shopping is good, yes yes.

I bought a few things I wanted to buy for a while...

A LAPTOP CASE! Zipped kind, not the valcro. Which is minimwee so that I can use on public transport without being so kang kor. And it's shock proof! Like how cool is that man?? I took a chance and bought it, 'cause I wasn't so sure it might fit my laptop. And it did!! I'm so happy. $25.

LAPTOP CLEANER! Now I can happily clean my laptop which has a million gazillion fingerprints on it. Now it is le clean! It is so mwee! Like new one like that. I'm happy, again. It's like wet tissue like that. Mweeeeee. $8.

Then we bought a EXERCISE BALL! Yuki's afraid of it though, and it's the seventy five centimeter one. It is le funky. All you do is bounce on it and you can watch television, and you burn fats from your tighs and abdominals. Cool non? $30.

I bought two earrings from toa payoh central, which are quite heavy from the ones that I'm normally used to. But it's quite nice nontheless, for the price that I paid. There was this very lovely pair of red ones, but another lady was holding on to them and I was like, "PUT THAT BACK ON THE RACK SO I CAN TAKE THEM!!" But she didn't, and it was the last pair. It was sooooo pretty! $2 each.

We bought other misc things as well, not worthy of mentioning. But really, all I wanted was a handphone, which we didn't get in the end. Guess I have to wait until friday evening, when my mom can bring me go and buy. She's coming back from Manila on thursday, you see. I'll either get 7270, or 7610. I'm kind of caught in between. Votes on it, anyone?

2005-11-08T21:34:00.000+08:00

I recieved an email today that left me shocked. My horrible ugly cube I said I hate to paint for Chingay, remember that? Out of like two hundred pieces, seventy plus got selected for the Design thing. I just hope that I don't have to go and... present my ugly cube to the rest of the world to see. It's gross. I mean, really gross.

Hi students,

Your Chingay Colour Cubes have been selected to participate in the Singapore Design Festival Events this week (10-12 Nov 05). Please meet Ernest for this event briefing tomorrow Wednesday, 9 NOV at 11:15am in LT25 ( it’s after your freshmen meeting and before your junior meeting with D/DES ). Please contact Ernest @XXXXXXXX for an update immediately if you’re unable to meet him at the above scheduled meeting.

(NOTE: Ernest, please contact Chwee Guan for the Color Cubes stored at CD Shelter).

Thanks & have a good design event, Lille.

2005-11-08T10:35:00.000+08:00

Girls night in!! (and shopping)

God, it was so fun to be out with you guys again. It's the only time I can ever be crazy. Yes, I know, I'm not crazy as any of you, but still... I'm far more sombre and serious in school. I was the first to arrive that day, and I played seeeems2 on Nie's laptop. We created the Mwee Family! There was Grandpa and Grandma Mwee, Father and Mother Mwee, Sister and Brother Mwee, and Girl and Baby Mwee.

The only good looking one was Sister Mwee. So we killed off the rest of the Mwee family--except the father. He got pregnant, not once, but twice with alien babies. The second time he got twins. We named then Alien, Aliener and Alienest Mwee.

But enough about sims, though, locking Father Mwee with three green babies in a room was hilarious. Alicia came over and positively cried on the phone to Colin that her Dota was acting weird.

Next up was Ade, who came with no money (the poor thing!). We went down to thomson plaza to eat EDO SUSHI!!! I had sashimi, liek whao, finally. And green tea ice cream! Alicia doesn't like green tea, that spastic girl. Green tea is good for you!!

Then we came back and Mut came. We mucked around for a while, then we watched a very, very, very, very long engagement. It was very long. Seriously. Then I had a quarrell with Josh, and we watched the sisterhood of travelling pants. I <3 that show man. It's so sweet and touching and stuff. And I'm the only that cried. Not a surprise, huh?

Then the highlight of the evening, we put on our FACE MASKS!! Mine and mut's were off white, but mine more to a blue tinge, and hers more to a green one. Ade's mask was pink, and Nie's was colourless. Nie's mask can peel off wan! So fun sia! My mask hardened. And cracked, and everything. We played a game of Uno with our masks on.

That's probably all I can think of right now, and some other things to note such as: Nie's dogs are super kawaii. Nie's brother and father walk around shirtless. I mean, her brother got nice bod, so okay lah. But her dad?! Scary. Very scary. We all love Jubes. <3 I still have two packets at home. We slept at around 6am and woke up at like 1:30pm. Cool huh? Nie's room was so dark that six am and one thirty pm looked the same. And I'm not kidding.

Blogger had better post this or I will KEEEEEL.

2005-10-30T23:05:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody! Your friendly neighbourhood Lixximajig is back again! My work has finished, and OH I just remembered I need to call Ade. I hope she's not asleep yet.

...

Oh yay! She's not! Me/Nie/Ade had a conference. Darling babies. We should do that more often. Laugh like nobodys business nia!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, my work. This is the first time I've actually gone out to work, and somehow I've formed an attachment to the place. The random spotchecks, the mario, the solitaire, the pin ball, the rude people...

And of course, the nice people there. Kodai, Shanty, Faridah, Yani, from the receptionists side. From the technitions side, Iskandar (the playful one), Azlie (the smelly one) and Atar (the new one). From the sercurity, Kelvin (the SIAO one), Kanan (the one with too many stories), Siva (the cute one), Andrew (the other one), Francis/Rajan (the lookalikes).

Yes, it was a good experience. Thank you, Mr. Hun, for letting me have a job there.

ANYWAY!

Been RP-ing with Nie these few days and I must say I LOVE OUR POSTS! It's damn funny lah. Everytime she reply me, I would never fail to laugh. My dearie Nie, CHU ARE A SIAO WOMANG!!

Heh. Here's the link, anyway, if you want to read about two stiff arses getting stuck in a broom closet.

2005-10-23T23:06:00.000+08:00

Randomness today:

Met Mervyn/Alicia/Nie at northpoint (MAN)
tried to install sims without the cd.
failed terribly.
Mervyn's computer died.
EA games is leet for creating an unburnable cd.
Josh appeared suddenly.
His mother were three levels above him in the same building (scary!)
NAL went to Nie's house.
Nie's dogs are cute.
Eli is a baby
Heidi has a big mouth
Their mother is small and smelly.
Nie's father is scary. I mean, really scary.
My stomach hurt like shit today
I got cheered on everytime I burped
I played sims on my laptop for a while
Elias and Kyriana Templeton was created *PROTEST! Kyriana is a LAROQUE!*
They made out.
They had a fire.
They woohooed
They tried for a baby
Kyriana got pregnant
It was a girl
I named it Mwee
My laptop ran out of battery.
Nie fell of the bed dancing/laughing/being mad
Alicia got high on the sugar biscuit thing
I came home
Cute2 gave me something to help me with my stomach pains.
It was green
It was green, jellyish, a small ball shape and from india.
It was minty.
Now I have a minty burp.
Blogger didn't post my entry, and I had to retype everything.
How sad is that?

2005-10-23T22:56:00.000+08:00

Random things that happened today.

Met Nie/Alicia/Mervyn at northpoint to try to get sims to work without cd.
Mervyn's laptop died.
Josh came over to say hi.
I was in the same building as Josh's parents (Scary!)
We had little biscuit sugar things.
Alicia/Nie saw some... Manhood enhacement thing.
I went to Nie's house.
Nie's dogs are cute.
Eli is a baby.
Heidi has a big mouth.
Their mother is small. And smelly.
Played Sims on my laptop.
Created Elias and Kyriana Templeton *protests! Kyriana is a LAROQUE! not a TEMPLETON!*
They made out.
They woohooed.
They tried for a baby
Kyriana got pregnant.
Their baby is a girl.
I named it Mwee.
Then my laptop died.
Nie fell off her bed dancing.
Alicia got high on the sweet biscuit thing.
I get cheered on everytime I burp.
Now I have a minty burp 'cos Cute2 gave me something from India that would help the stomach, thing.
It was green.
It was a green jelly ball thing.
It was minty.
Now my burps are minty.
I had a lot to eat today.
My stomach still hurts.
But I have no more fever.
I think.
Yes.
Now I must go keep Nie company.
She is a mad womang.
Toodles.

2005-10-20T18:40:00.000+08:00

Hello, it is the almighty Lixxie coming back to blog again! Today, I would like to introduce you to the Security Guard Lingo! You know how they always have code words and stuff? Yeah, it's to make them sound more... I don't know, funky? You see for yourself.

Papa Tango = Patrol Team
Papa Oscar = Protection Officer
Tango Bravo = Tea Break
Lamé Bravo = Lunch Break
Tango = Toilet
Tango Yanki = Thank You

So example: "Papa Oscar Ah Meng to Papa Tango Yew, Over. (Send, over) Sir, tango, sir. (Coming over) Tango Yanki" Means: Hello officer Yew? I want to go to the toilet please take over me thank you.

My manager asked me today if I could work for one more week after my three weeks have finished. I think... I'll tell him I'll work until next friday then I'll stop. My mom wants me to work the extra week though. $200, don't play play!

2005-10-18T21:19:00.000+08:00

New blog design. I wonder how people would react to it. I've always like the white-pink-black combo thing. My comments are gone though, sadly.
I shall find a way to put that back up. :) :)

Edit: I'm lazy to use haloscan, so I'll just poop blogger's one. Granted, theirs is getting better now.

2005-10-16T21:09:00.000+08:00

You've become so lonely
We've haven't talked for a while
Friends have been asking about you
It's like you've gone from the world
How are you, now?
I've heard you've seperated
Ring me up if you're free
Meet up, chat for a while
I'd like to know if you're really okay
It's like you said before
There's no medicine for love
Only the foolish would fall sick for it.

I miss that summer
We yelled across the street, frightened by the thunder
We didn't care how people stared
All those times
Have become the most treasured memories
Such a cute yesterday
Because of a movie
We cried for a few days
That face you made for everyone
Is still etched in my memory
I wish I could see your smile again
Your sweet smile
Always so sweet

P.S. I love you

2005-10-14T22:08:00.000+08:00

This is what happens when one is very bored during work. It is currently the desktop wallpaper of the computer that I use. I like it muchly, don't you?

2005-10-13T19:34:00.000+08:00

Things worth noting that are happening to me:
1. Overslept and went to the polyclinic to get an MC. Told the doctor I felt giddy.

Me: I woke up today feeling quite giddy. Then I have a headache on this side of the head *points to head*
Doctor: Oh... Okay. Are you pregnant?
Me: *fjshflskhgkhszkhj wtf?!?!?!* Er... No.
Doctor: When was your last menses?
Me: -.-"""""""""""Errrr... beginning of the month? I can't remember.
Doctor: Are you pregnant?
Me: *WTFBBQ NO!* Er, no.
Doctor: *looks at Josh* Are you sure?

What the hell sia? Tell doctor I feel giddy means I pregnant? That's nuts lor. NUTS!

2. Lee Hsien Long is coming down to my workplace next week. Apparently he's going to walk around all the buildings. I'm scared. What if he talks to me? Ack... I don't know. What should I say? Blab nonsense, I will.

3. Went to watch Corspe Bride with Ade, Nie and Mut. Good show. Good company.

4. Went to eat sushi buffet with Josh, Wei Wei, Mervyn and Min Min. Ate a total of 21 plates. Good food. Good company.

5. I have a perverted security gaurd that comes to my workplace building sometimes. He likes to stroke my hand. He looks gross. Like.. Eyes bulging out of head etc and he's OLD kind of gross. I am highly disgusted with him.

6. Nie is coming my house this weekend to help me pack my room. I am going to die. My room is uber messy. Josh would come too, but he's leaving for thailand. He's leaving tmr! *am sad*

4.

2005-10-07T06:17:00.000+08:00

Okay, so I'm here at six am in the morning, trying to keep my eyes open, blogging. That's because I don't have any other time to blog throughout the day. I'd love to, since they have bloody wireless over at my workplace, but the computer I'm using doesn't have a wireless card or a lan line (okay, it does, but the only places you can go are the building's login/out folder).

I have a very simple task, which is to change passes for the people going in and out of the building (i.e. they give me their driving liscene/ic or something and I give them a visitor or a constructor pass). It's quite mundane, and the place I'm at is really quiet, unlike the other blocks where they're really busy all the time. So I end up talking to the security guards, whoever is on duty. So far I've talked to... Watson, Calvin and Eric. They're all old men, lol, but Calvin's a sweet talker. To the girls, at least. Don't worry, they haven't done anything to me yet, and if they do, what can I do? They're the security guards! But nah, the bloody place I'm in is all glass. So they can't touch me, nyah!

Anyway, I need to go off to prepare now. Toodles!

2005-10-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

I _______ Lixxie.
Lixxie is ________.
Lixxie thinks a lot about _______.
Lixxie likes to talk about ______.
When I think of Lixxie, I think of ________.
I want Lixxie to ________ me.
If I were alone in a room with Lixxie I would _______.
I think Lixxie should _____.
Lixxie needs ______. s/he wants _______, I think.
I want to ____________ Lixxie.
If I could describe Lixxie in a word: _______.
Lixxie will never ______ .
Lixxie always _______.
Lixxie can ______ my _______.
I hope Lixxie never _____.
I wish Lixxie ______________.
I _____ Lixxie because _______.
But I ________ Lixxie because _________.
(and I ________ Lixxie because _________.)

Stole this from dragon. yay. You can put more than one word. :)

2005-10-01T18:08:00.000+08:00

Hello friends! I am home once more!

I almost couldn't come home yesterday night. My flight was cancelled... And a whole group of us were left stranded in Indonesia Airport. How peachy is that?

But anyway, we ended up hitching a ride on Emirates! Yay for that. From ValueAir to Emirates. The food was damn nice, and the entertainment there is better than SIA.

I bought a lot of things. I have a few shirts that I can't fit into (must lose weight!) a new pair of specs (from swatch, and it's only $85!), a new wallet, and other misc stuff.

Tee hee!

Off to play Tales of Phantasia. And I miss my darling.

I'm sorry, right? That I caused a rift between you and your friends. I'm sorry.

2005-09-28T09:56:00.000+08:00

Guess what guys, I'm flying off again. I'm at the airport, leaving in about half an hour to Jakarta. Will be back on friday (I know this is quite rushed, my mom told me two dys ago I'll be flying with her) at 11pm at night.

*sends love to everyone <3 <3

2005-09-19T20:02:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! The lixxie is home in one piece, and the plane didn't crash and I didn't get kidnapped (though Jamsiekins did contemplate doing that--naughty Jamsiekins). I'll post a nice long blog post about my trip soon--there's just so much to say (too much, I think I'll get tired of saying it)

I smell like kumquats! Heh.

Anyway, do you guys want to meet up sometime?

2005-09-11T19:38:00.000+08:00

This is the Lixxie being stupid and paranoid, but since when was the Lixxie not stupid and paranoid? Anyway, I'm here to let you know that just in case SIA decides to crash and burn, I love you very very much, and I have treasured my time with you, be it the ups and the downs.

I will miss all of you, really. And I have no money to buy presents for you, I'm sorry. My mother insists on not giving me money (how sad is that?!). I will not be able to play H&H or RO for the next five days (which is even sadder), so I hope I'll be able to catch up when the time comes to.

Sheesh, now. Who's this you Lixxie keeps talking about? It's quite simple, actually... All my lovely dearies from SAMND! And of course, my beloved darling... I <3 you okay, darling? Must take care when I'm not around... Cannot go beat yourself up or anything okay?

The list would go on and on a bit... People I used to hang out with from AVA, and I'm sure you know who you are, people I met on the net that I never had a chance to meet, and you've changed me somehow, people that I know that have affected in one way or another... Mervyn, Galvin and the rest of the gang...

Sigh, take care okay?

2005-09-09T18:11:00.000+08:00

Hello my fellow humanoids! It is I, your humble Lixxie, reporting to you from her VERY NEW LAPTOP! Yayness!

Hahahaha I spent the whole day trying to get the laptop to connect to the computer are after endless hours of toil, it WORKED!

*am happy*

but I can't stay online forever, cos the wire to connec the computer to the internet and the plug to recharge my batteries are like.. whao. so far away.

Anyhow, I've deserted trying to pack my room when the new laptop came. And I'm going to Simlim tmr to get stuff for laptops.

I think I will name it.

I have yet to think of one.

Yeah man, I'm so happy.

:D

2005-09-04T22:56:00.000+08:00

James will probably tear me limb from limb if he ever heard me say the following (and I seriously hope he doesn't): I've gotten back into my Draco/Ginny fanfiction!! I've been reading the Serpent's Bride all over again, and I must say it is really one of the better written fanfictions I've read.

Anyway, I must let all of you know the good news. I'm getting a laptop! Granted, it's Dell and everyone says it sucks, but it's the most powerful you can get with that kind of money spent. It's the Inpiron 6000 for all those tech buffs that want to check out the stats. They'll be calling on Monday (I hope) to confirm the order. Now I can stay up late without my sister chasing me out, and I'm sure a good number of your has experienced that.

That reminds me... Monday, Monday.... Job interview day. Frankly, I've never been to one so I have no idea what to expect. Though I really must tell them I cannot do waiting. I'll just... spill everything all over the place and create too much problems for them.

Of course, Monday I must also go and book a facial appointment! *becomes all tai tai*

Josh was just rereading the emails I sent him pre-getting together and has kindly reminded me of how obvious I was then. I mean, obviously if he didn't want to make the first move, I had to do something, didn't I? ( *high five to Haley on that ;))

I'm awfully bored. Preparing to go to Perth. I'll be away from the 11th to the 16th. Miss me, all of you shall! Bwahahahaha.

I pray and hope my laptop doesn't arrive when I'm away.

Edit: Much thanks to Cassandra for sending me the song Que Sera Sera.

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be

2005-09-02T03:54:00.000+08:00

This is an entry to entertain the Jaclyn.

Mweeeee! *huggles the Jaclyn*

Today was a sad day, as it was the last of my photo class. I kinda like my photo class because of the critques and that. We actually have class crits, instead of having the lecturers keep telling you stuff. That's just always plain boring. Run errands for the class, I do.

My cube is almost done. As in, 75% almost done as it's due in three hours. I don't like the whole idea of having the lecturers tell us what is not accepted. I mean, it's our work, our ideas and our interpretations right? So them telling us everything cannot except things like arts and culture, family values and all that rubbish. Then it becomes their ideas and interpretations now, doesn't it? We're just like the little workers and doing the dirty work.

I spilt red paint all over my room floor. Now I have a red room. Not to mention I'm highly colourful. I have purple, red, yellow, blue, orange, pink, green, black and white and grey all over me.

Don't you just love being colourful?

:) Much luff to you too, Jac~

2005-08-31T23:04:00.000+08:00

A thought popped into my head today. The saying goes that opposites attract, right? So if I'm attracted to Josh's confidence, James' good-naturedness, Ade's talent and Dragon's Charisma, does that make me a low self-esteem, mean and evil, horribly untalented and repulsive girl?

Today we went back to St Nicholas for happy happy teachers' day! I missed everyone. Me, Dragon and Mut went around the teaching staff and all was good!

I miss secondary school. You really don't know what you have until it's gone. I talked to so many people today! Pei Qing, Gladys, Cheryl, and many many more! It was so exciting! And the teachers actually remember me, and I was especially surprised when Mr. Imbram remembered me!

I miss hanging out in the staff room, watching the teachers grade horribly stupid essays and exchange panties.

2005-08-31T08:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel like the people I care about don't really care as much about me, as I do them. But it's okay, it just leaves a bit of a bitter feeling. No, darling, it's not about you. You on the other hand, I feel that I don't care for you enough, and I never will... 'Cause you deserve much more.

I spent the night attempting to paint my cube and failing miserably. Now I have brown hands, a yellow toe and multi-coloured knees. Oh wait, add a bit of white and red to the hands. I woke up this morning to continue. I also have a swollen toe because last night while talking to Nie on msn, I accidentally rolled over my middle toe of my right foot with my chair. Ouch.

Nie: I hope you know that your transformation in faith has rubbed off me as well. It's always like that isn't it? No matter what we do, we'll always affect other people. This time, it's in a good way :) I'm glad to see you happy, dearie, and I hope you stay that way. Ignore the wussy. Lol.

James: You've left me quite worried there, leaving like that, with that mood. Whatever it is, I really hope everything's okay. And even if it's something untowardly, something good will come out of it, in the end. It always does. I really, really hope that everything's alright. (Words are failing me at the moment, I just woke up @_@ and I can't seem to express my worry. Just know that "quite worried" was an understatement.) Please take care. *hugs*

2005-08-29T09:28:00.000+08:00

I don't know why sometimes I feel that the entire world hates me. They do, I just know it. It has always been like that. The world hates me. I hate myself.

I hate always doing things for people, and I barely get anything back. It's so tiring, you know? It's not like I do it expecting people to give something back, no, I do it because I want to. But in the end, when the other party does nothing, I still feel terrible.

I hate I hate I hate myself.

I hate being all happy all the time, especially when I'm not. I hate having to pretend that everything's fine and dandy, that I'm not upset with anything. Some people can really be so tactless at times, you know? And it especially hurts when you consider that person a good friend, and actually care about what that person says.

Don't bother about me. I think I'm having my mood swings again. Bloody effing hormones. I hate myself.

2005-08-28T17:29:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry, I know, I'm irritating.

But sometimes, if you would like me to shut the fuck up, can you please just tell me? You don't have to pretend that you're not there, just to make me think that that's the reason why you're not replying. I know very well you are there, and I have my ways of finding out.

Today I have upset two people, and if my mother keeps harping on the fact that we cannot go Perth, or I cannot study in Australia, the number will keep growing.

Lixxie is having bad mood swings today. She hates herself so much, now.

If you can piss on an extremely good natured person, you're really such a horrid person, right? And that's what I did.

Again, I'm sorry.

Then again, maybe I should just forget about going to Australia, whether for holiday, or studying. I should just stay in Singapore, find some deserted corner and sulk. Then I won't irritate anyone further.

I mean, I'm pretty useless, besides irritating people. And making other people upset.

I hate myself, I really do. I hate myself. I hate myself.

2005-08-25T21:45:00.000+08:00

I am dying. I am literally dying. I doubt it’s from the lack of sleep, because there hasn’t been any lack of sleep. I’ve been getting good amounts, though I think next week would be more rushed, since the last three projects are left, and two are excruciatingly time consuming.

But anyway, I’m dying. I’m dying from the lack of chocolate. Ever since Ade thrust me that chunk of extremely rich chocolate outside Coffee Club, I haven’t had a good worth of chocolate yet. My head’s spinning. It hurts like crazy. I need chocolate. I need chocolate now.

Every night since then I’ve had a bar of chocolate. It’s running out. Hell, I finished the last bar today. I need more! More I tell you, MORE!

Someone save me. My head really hurts, and I think it’s really due to the lack of chocolate.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

On a side note, I’m thinking of going to study in Australia, and the details are really sketchy, as of now. Thanks to both Nie and Ade for talking me through this. And I will thank James once he comes online and give me some information after I clobber him to tiny little pieces.

Much love <3>

I’m bloody bored, I’m seriously bloody bored. I’ve got some work to do and I don’t want to do them. Even though I know it’s the last of my projects. I Don’t Wanna! Humpf.

Sorry, spoilt brat mode was on there, for a while.

My head ruddy hurts. Argh.

2005-08-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

I have been extremely tired, as of late, and sleep is no longer a luxury I can afford. Especially when I have one big pile (it's getting lesser, thank God) of work to complete and deadlines to meet. Not to mention a whiny brother that goes :'( on msn everytime I try to leave at night.

Stupid me and my stupid soft heart-ness. Just today I went to City Hall Funan to help a friend get something... had gone halfway off when he called and confirmed that I bought the wrong thing. I went all the way back just to change it. But in the end I simply decided that I couldn't buy the wrong thing, and so I left empty handed.

You could not imagine how guilty I bloody felt. Damn stupid soft-heartness thingy. I can't do mean evil things without feeling bad. How sad is that?

Oh, I just realised I digressed pretty badly.

So, anyway, sleep is a no-go for me. Perhaps one day should give me forty hours, instead of twenty four. Or get me a time turner. Either would be nice.

I also don't mind a new handphone, a new computer, a new camera, a new digital slr, and a new laptop, at the same time-- but that's out of point.

I think Singapore has too many propaganda-ish things around. Look around in the MRT stations and you'll see. Little boys wanting an EZ-Link card after passing the height limit. You tell me, how many people would want to pay?? And the butterfly confetti Ade showed me today... Omy.

That's also out of point, but really, who cares?

I miss my darling Joshums :( :(

I have discovered a really really cool photographer, thanks to my photography lecturer, no less. :) His name is Steve McCurry. His pictures are beautiful, and you can go on hours looking at them. They have no meaning, no emotion, nothing, behind these photographs, but they are extremely well composed. He makes the poverty in third world countries disappear, and shows the beauty behind the countries. His portraits can get quite scary, though, the way some of his subjects look at you.

It would be wonderful, to be half as good as he is. He works for National Geographic, by the way.

I really want to read Roald Dahl books. Matilda, especially. I'm really drawn to that girl, I have no idea why. And I miss Pierce Anthony as well. I finished my school's library collection of him already.

For now, I just have to be contented with HBP, which I'm finishing already.

I've run out of random things, for now. Till next time, my friends, or whoever is reading this.

2005-08-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

I've been extremely stressed, lately. It's like... I'm so drained of life. Deadlines to meet, stuff to complete, running back and forth and getting ruddy lost. But I'm lucky. 'Casue when I'm stressed/depressed/want to die, I tend to become extremely talkative, and will yap until the cows come home. I will yap about utterly stupid, mundane things.

And only one person has been able to tolerate my rants about nothing particular, and I would really love to thank him, muchly.

Dearest Jamsie,

Thank you for everything. Really. I think you are possibly the only person that would be able to tolerate my nonsense, and nonsense back to me. Thank you for being a friend.

Thank you, my beloved brother.

2005-08-15T19:36:00.000+08:00

I suddenly have a very, very weird feeling. I miss dragon so, so much. *huggles the dragon*

I hope you're doing fine, deary. *wipes tears from eyes*

2005-08-13T22:08:00.000+08:00

It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me down

'Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith, I’ve got faith, faith of the heart

2005-08-10T23:55:00.000+08:00

hey y'all!

what have i been up to? RPGing! at this really really new site called Halfbloods and Horcruxes. I'm Ron and Narcissa. I dunno... Should I be a moderator? Jamesie did offer...

it's based on the seventh book, and what (we think) will come. the people there are mostly fanfiction writers, and (i think) ship h/g and r/hr.

another thing is the new millennion forum. it's completely new as well. plans for it are like... discussing things like WoW, anime... etc. there's an RPG thingo as well, though i'm not too sure what's it about in the first place. do join! though i know it's a bit messy now, that's just cos we're starting it up.

it'll be up and running after a little while. :)

2005-08-09T13:35:00.000+08:00

my parents want a divorce.

my sister refuses to answer my calls.

i'm far too young to handle this alone.

2005-08-04T20:05:00.000+08:00

i've suddenly got a very weird notion.

should i ask my photog lecturer if i could be his apprentice during the holidays? he's a part time lecturer... full time photographer.

it all started... since he learnt my name and started calling me to do things... "elizabeth, go call them back to class", or "elizabeth! shall have the honour of helping me with the slides" <-- not a very fun job, i tell you. and when he calls names it's like there's this ! at the end of it... weird. ta ha.

someone beat me in the head, please. urgh.
i need to grab my sanity-insanity back.

2005-08-01T10:32:00.000+08:00

for my own reference:

tp holiday schedule: 5th Sep - 6th Nov (without exams)
tp holiday schedule: 18th Sep - 6th Nov (with exams)
nyp holiday schedule: 12th Sep - 6th Nov (without exams)
nyp holiday schedule: 1st Oct - 6th Nov (with exams)
jc holiday schedule: J1 holidays start from 7th Nov

ade, when does your promos end?

2005-08-01T09:30:00.000+08:00

star light, star bright
first star i see tonight.
i wish i may,
i wish i might,
have the wish
i wish tonight.

i wish, i wish, i wish... that i would be struck with a lovely bolt of inspiration, and that would solve all my problems.

2005-07-31T23:28:00.000+08:00

entry deleted, not because i want to keep a "happy happy" i love everybody image, but i realised that i posted it on the wrong blog.

a bit stupid, yes, but hey, i have four-- or was that five?

2005-07-19T19:52:00.000+08:00

"a lot of people don't want to go into poly..."

a passing remark i heard while on the way home made me pretty offended. what's wrong with going to poly?

so, if someone feels that going to jc is good, just because the requirements are more strict that in poly, does that mean that the people in jc are better off than the people in poly. does that mean that the people in jc will grow up to become smarter, richer, more successful that the people in poly? a misconception made by many singaporeans.

is there a point in going to jc or poly when you don't know what you want to do? that you'll just go to jc just because everyone else around you is? people like that should grow a backbone.

same goes for people who want to go to jc, but everyone is telling you that you should go for poly.

another common misconception is that every poly has people who cannot make it to jc. pure rubbish, guys. my diploma alone has a lot of single pointers, people who could have gone to the top five jcs in singapore... and they're there, doing a diploma.

the education system is very different in jc and in poly. they both have their good and bad points, both in learning academically and growing as a person.

one thing i'd tell you before you choose where you want to go: go for the best. be it jc, or poly, go for the best. only when you mix with the people of that certain standard, would you be like that standard, or even surpass it. see which jc specialises in what subject you want to take (i think VJ's really good for humanities), or which poly offers the best course for the type of career you want to persue.

there's no point in going to jc and graduating with just an a level cert, not being able to qualify for university, as there is no point in going for a diploma that isn't recognized, or teach things that have no relavance to what you want to do.

2005-07-17T15:03:00.000+08:00

harry potter spoilers, don't read it if you don't want to know what's gonna happen.

the book wasn't a complete disaster, i might say, but it was quite a shocker.
i was shocked, that instead of ron and hermione getting together first, harry and ginny did. i was shocked at harry's behavior. heck, his godfather just died and... and... he's all normal and everything! and i was shocked at lavander. where the hell did she pop up from all of a sudden, and start kissing ron?! i found the behavior of the trio a bit unusual, lately, they didn't used to disagree so much before...

but of course, there are things that i did see coming... like lupin/tonks... i saw that one right from the start, as well as bill/fluer and my all time favourite ginny/harry. i'm sure the fanfiction world will start jumping and jumping to continue from this... and i'd like to know what crazy things these people would think of. after all, book seven is somewhat set already.

i cannot seem to accept dumbledore's death. i mean, i've always expected it, and there has been a lot of them in fanfiction, but this is canon! irreversible! i'm... speechless... i didn't expect him to die in book six. not book six. book seven, perhaps. his death was so final, so resolute... it was far worse than sirius. i cried this time, because i have grown so fond of dumbledore...

snape's betrayal was another shocking thing. i, like everyone else in the wizarding world, trusted dumbledore, and therefore thought snape was clean. a good guy. i still think... but the odds are low. no... i think he'll stay evil... if he was righteous, he'd have died in place or dumbledore, instead of killing him. but hey, one thing is certain: he was the DADA teacher, and he only stayed a year. but he might have shared voldie's reason for applying for DADA every year... i think.

but i kinda figured that he was the half blood prince after a while... i mean, it was a potion book.

i wonder who is RAB though...

edit:

i think perhaps snape is redeemable, in the end. he might have told dumbledore of the vow, and in the end dumbledore knew that he would have to die, in order to secure snape's place in voldie's inner circle... and trusted right hand man.

seems plausible, yes?

2005-07-16T09:49:00.000+08:00

How I spent my birthday:

Ade woke me up at around 9 in the morning, greeting me with a wonderful brithday cheer (thanks ade!).
Then I woke my mother up, she overslept, and was pretty late for work.
Then I did my subject selection for my course.
Then I bummed around waiting for Joshua to come over.
Met him at the MRT around near 2.
Went to buy tickets to FANTASTIC four.
Went to eat pizza.
Went to watch movie-- It wasn't that great, seriously, but it's not all that bad either. The ending looks like a sequel is coming up though.
Went to have dinner with the parents.
Played diablo with josh until pretty late.
Couldn't sleep cos I kept hearing funny noises and someone whispering "hello" in my ear.
Woke my daddy up to change bed with him.
Slept till this morning.

Totoal number of people who wished me happy birthday: nine.
Ade, Mommy, Daddy, My Maid, Joshua, LayHoon, Jaclyn (who owes me something!), Muthu, Dragon, Samantha, Galvin, Joshua. In that order.

TODAY:
HARRY POTTER MADNESS! is totally non-existant in borders.
I was surprised to find Borders so empty in the morning. But oh well, I guess cause most of the fans already went for the party last night, and got the book already. I got the adult version! woooo! Black and gold... Pretty....

I'm still reading a Xanth novel, so I'll have to finish that before the Potter Madness starts on me.

I can't wait. :)

edit--
Me: Mommy, thanks for going through all the pains of childbirth to give birth to me.
Ma: What pain? You came out so easily.

2005-07-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

don't you feel that i happen to be a parachiol person? my blog has never been about current issues, be it the things that happen in iraq, or china's and india's future successes, or the london bombings. but this... i find that this one is too big for me to ignore.

blame it on my morals, if you like, that i treat this with higher importance than other "current" issues.

i feel that the CEO of NKF did a very stupid thing, to decieve the public about the facts and figures, etc. it saddens me to think that one person spent all his day working for money, and donating that hard earned cash to a "reputable" foundation, and the CEO of that foundation sits back and relaxes, while the cash rolls in.

overlooking certain important things like that, and playing around with the figures... he has lost the people's trust, and would affect all the other charity organisations.

he was smart to withdraw. drag it for a few more days, who knows what other dirty secrets SPH would come up with. maybe a house in bali bought with the NKF's fund raisings, or a mistress being kept somewhere. the tales would get even more ridiculous.

should we stop donating when such a thing happens? no. the people still need donations. they still need to survive. cutting off the donations would be cutting off the life line for these needy people. they're human, they deserve to live.

it would be difficult to earn back the people's trust. i think we just need time.

2005-07-12T11:07:00.000+08:00

i know, i've been naughty and haven't updated in a while. make that a long while. it's my holidays, but sadly, i have to go back to school for lessons and all that shite. monday, wednesday, and thursday. luckily, none on my birthday which is friday, HINT HINT!

lol, i'm just kidding.

had a birthday celebration with my family on sunday, plus my aunt's family, my jie jie's bf and josh! it's fun to have everyone around. i love my aunt's family (okay, technically, my mother's cousin's wife). they're so funny and crazy.

my mother's crazy too. there was this old man sitting alone, his back was super straight and he had an evil gleam in his eye. i didn't think much about him, but my mother obviously did. and she came back to the table from the buffet saying that we girls must becareful cos he looks like a serial killer.

lol.

i went for dental checkup this morning (after a hefty three long years of sitting on the waiting list). now the question is: SHOULD I GET BRACES? my condition is not servere enough for me to require them, but they would help. i don't know. must discuss with the mommy.

i love my joshums. thank you so much for the wonderful presents.

2005-07-01T16:49:00.000+08:00

bleeping bloopers! i spent one hell a lot of money today!!! wooooooo.... @_@ what happened today? look and seeeeeee!

Colour class was an absolute bore and waste of time, as usual. But this week something changed! We're doing T-Shirt Designs!! Woooot! It's a Campus Care Network project, where we will sell the T-Shirts we print and some of the money would then go to the funding of students with financial problems (hey, shouldn't that be me? i'm going broke!).

After colour class, I spent some time with Josh while waiting for his next class to start. There's this silly lecuturer in AS that came up to us and told us to stop being so intimate in public... In my head I was laughing myself silly. Hugging, intimate? I think the lecturers in AS are not as open-minded as those in Design. The lecturers in Design, even the older ones, come and gossip about who's with who and all that rubbish. Maybe 'cause it's the whole conservertiveness of the world of science. Or something like that.

Then I waited a good half and hour for the silly bus 518 to arrive. Fell asleep on the bus. Which reminds me, I almost never fall asleep on the bus, and only when I'm really tired do I do so. But lately, I've been falling asleep a lot. On the bus, that is. Must be the lack of sleep I'm getting every night with all my term-end projects looming over my head. Anyway, I got off the bus one stop too early, and ended up having to walk a long way to art friend.

I signed up for art friend membership...($5.25) And walked around a bit, looking for pastels to buy. They only had one brand, and it was pretty expensive, so I ended up going one floor up to search for a little shop and buying it from there instead (15.50). It was a whole lot cheaper, and it was the same brand my lecturer was using, so I'm guessing it's pretty good (she kept her set for more than ten years already). I went back downstairs to look for spray mount, but couldn't find it, so I figured I'll just get it from school.

Saw a shop called "ART BOOKSHOP" and plastered all over it was this thing that said, "Closing down sale, 50% off!" The lady in the shop was really rude though, but I seriously couldn't be bothered by her. There wasn't much of an array of books, mostly fine arts. My eyes seriously went @_@ @_@ @_@ at everything I saw, and everthing was HALF PRICE! So my eyes turned into $_$ and I went to choose my books. I bought one book on Prophecies, I think they're facinating. Another one was on Illustration and Design, and the last one on Black and White darkroom processing, special effects. In total, $27. Ka-Ching! I had to drag myself outta there if not I'll be stuck there even until now.

Lastly I walked over to peninsula plaza, which was pretty far away... And I bought my film there, 4x400ISO TMAX. Another $18 gone. I was looking at the tripods, hoping to see a nice cheap one on sale or something. No such luck. All of them are like, $100-$10,000. :( Gotta look eslewhere.

Total amount of money spent today, rounded up: $66! *cries*

2005-06-30T20:53:00.000+08:00

omg omg omg!!! i LOVE NIEEEEEE!!!!!
thank you so much much much!!! ANNOUNCE:: NIE IS DA BESTEST FRIEND EVER!

;)

2005-06-29T20:20:00.000+08:00

printed a photograph for my basic photography class... i'm growing attached to it :)

link is here.

waddya think?

2005-06-29T11:05:00.000+08:00

there are times i wished we had a treadmil. then i can just run all i want, away from all my problems, away from all my fears. i tried to do that with the bicycle, but the effect isn't the same. i simply just can't push past the limits, the boundaries.

is it stress? i don't know... it feels more like fear. fear of being alone, fear of having no one.

maybe because yesterday, i felt my first taste of hostility in school. somehow, people just don't want to sit with me, be in the same group as me, some don't even want to talk to me.

why? is it because i'm fat and ugly? or is it because people think i'm stuck up? well, i'm not. i'm just rather shy, and will not open up until i get the feeling that i can trust someone completely. my personality so far in school has been a mask. covering up my shyness with boldness, lameness, etc.

i don't know anymore... i just want to run away.

edit: i've realised my account in friendster has been hacked. said i'm a lesbian whore and all that rubbish. i don't know, am i really that detestable?

no... this is a test of inner strength and character, and it is a test i will pass with flying colours. i have high self esteem... i MUST have high self esteem. do i care what other people think? why should i? they don't matter to me. i only care about the people close to my heart. that's all. everyone else can go rot in hell.

sorry, i'm really cranky.

2005-06-27T12:05:00.000+08:00

in one of the comp labs now, with a nice mac G5 in front of me, and all my classmates bustling around me happily. it's the start of a new week, and hopefully, a good week. i've finished that dastard portrait, finally. this week there isn't much work to be done. i've got printing of photographs, and some drawing and colouring left...

mm.. a survey is beng passed around... let's see. they're talking about... things i don't know. lol. most influencial designs... :)
okay, they give me rubbish questions like that, i give them rubbish answers back...

mmm... i'm going to josh's house later!! yay! i can't wait to see him again. he's such a dear dear :) :)

mut ah, i'd like my pop card and wire back again... my mom's not too happy about me loaning out stuff :(

hey ade, all the best for your CAs! they start today right?

this morning on the bus i happen to look out the window... and i saw roadkill. it's really sad to see cats being knocked down by vehicles. at least whoever that knocked the cat down had the decency to bring the cat to the side of the road, instead of letting them get trampled some more by cars. i wonder though, why only stray cats get roadkill, and not stray dogs?

thanks to han for sending me the song, "i finally found someone" it has become my favourite song! like, i put it on repeat over and over again... and i imagine that i'm-- okay.. my nice romantic thoughts will not be put on the web for all to see... but i'm sure my darling knows what i mean :)

~
I finally found someone,
who knocks me off my feet 
I finally found the one,
who makes me feel complete 
We started over coffee,
we started out as friends
It's funny how from simple things,
the best things begin 
~

2005-06-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

someone please please shoot me in the head.
i had pictures of angelina jolie and cameron diaz staring at me from a lot of different angles. my hand and head's gonna explode. portrait drawing is fun, when you get it the first time. i've redrawn dunno how many million time already... and i really feel like killing myself.

and i can't see my darling even if i'm in yishun.

i really just wanna give up. go to sleep and never wake. i want to just die.

2005-06-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

today i realised actually how much work goes into make a good black and white print... next time i develop film i show you all the whole process of it. it's quite interesting, actually, and quite fun. my mother was more excited that i was when the film came out of the roll.

to make one good print, you need pretty much a lot of photographic paper. and there goes all my money again. i wish... that i had more money to spare to buy my stuff you know?

but it's alright... i've stop eating so much, so my food money goes to buy art supplies.. and most art supplies like pencils.. my mom can buy from overseas. it's just my photography supplies that need my own money.

i will not ask my mother for money. i'll use my weekly allowances to get my stuff...
one packet of photographic paper = half my week's allowance you know? that's damn expensive. :(

i realised one thing in poly. the people are genuinely very nice. they're not like those superficial people we were used to in sng, or since majority went to, jc. they don't bitch, they don't gossip, they help and are very kind. they're nice. they're really nice people.

to ade: jia you for all your CAs! if you put your mind to it, i know you'll turn out fine. your strong determination is your major plus point (and a bit of a minus point, but nvm) and whenever you set your mind to do something, you'll put in your best effort. and i believe this will pull you through life in jc.

to dragon: i know life is tough in design, and hell, i'm feeling the stretch as well. but please baby dragon, do take care of yourself. get enough sleep (hell, i think i need to take my own advice!), and eat plenty plenty and drink a lot of water. alright? you worry me, you know?

to nie: thanks for letting me rant to you, it was very... destressing. thanks for being there :) you're a great friend, even if you are stubborn, sometimes, you know?

to satan: yay i found your number! you know wad that means? funnnnn!!! :D :D i'll look forward to asking you out on coffee dates.

to vinny: good luck to you for your CA's as well, alright? put in your best effort!

to VSCstudents: it's been a great time knowing all of you guys, really! i don't know if any of you come here, but if you do, please please please drop me a note. you guys have made my beginning in poly a wonderful one, and i don't think i'll be able to cope with the huge amount of projects and stress without the company of you guys. :) :)

to my darling: i miss xdd :( i wish i can be with xdd all the time. lets play diablo together one of these days okay? i miss playing with you diablo. thanks for always being there for me, my darling. you're really really wonderful. and please stop saying that i'm smarter than you, cause each one of us are smart in our own ways, alright..? i just can't tell you how much you mean to me. i'll have to stop, in case... blogger decides to cut my entry.... i can go on forever about you, though, cause you're my most wonderful darling ever.

2005-06-22T21:27:00.000+08:00

i'm sick and tired of people making stupid comments. i'm sick and tired of people labelling me. i'm sick and tired of their stubborn attitude. i'm sick and tired of their bloody low self esteem, and saying everything to make it seem like they're really good.

like, whatever.

i just want to give them a slap in the face and tell them to shut the fuck up.

stupid brainless people.

2005-06-22T12:37:00.000+08:00

Your #1 Love Type: INFJ

The Protector

In love, you strive to have the perfect relationship.
For you, sex is nearly a spiritual experience, a bonding of souls.

Overall, you have high expectations for any relationship you're in.
However, you tend to hold back a part of yourself.

Best matches: ENTP and ENFP

What's Your Love Type?

2005-06-21T11:03:00.000+08:00

one week has passed, and another has arrived. my short break from work is over (friday, saturday and sunday), and work has begun to pile in again. i've gotten to know a lot of people, but none of which i am close to. somehow, i just miss the togetherness a class used to have.

i guess i can say i am from t02, since majority of my classes are like that. others i've noticed are in pretty much the same class (to2) as me would be clarence, junhao, nadia, sharifah and sharlyn.

four weeks of school has gone by, and for me, these four weeks wasn't the least bit stable. i've had my ups, and i've had my downs. i've had my late nights, and early mornings. and i've had a good share of work piled all over me.

sigh, sigh, sigh.

2005-06-16T17:47:00.000+08:00

today in basic photography, we proccessed film!! urgh. it's so scary with all the chemicals (which are pretty much toxic and deadly) all around. there's this room where you take out the film... and it's 99% dark, meaning, you put your fingers in front of your face and you can't see it. the darkroom has a red light in it, so in the end it's still not as dark.

i'm gonna be doing my film proccessing at home. it's much too scary to do it alone in school. that means, i'm gonna bring back all the stupid chemicals! and a measuring jug.

the week was tiring, and next week's another tiring week.

i miss slamd!!! you know, i don't think i fit in school at all. it's like.. everyone there's the "popular" kind of people (and the "poser" type of people). i act a bit like that... but i don't feel comfortable. i don't feel like i can open up myself to these people. bad thing is, i can't "be myself" and don't care if people accept me or not, because of the countless group work we have to do.

sigh.

work work work.

2005-06-15T22:44:00.000+08:00

urrrggghhhh... i slept at 6am this morning just completing that a2 size drawing. woke up at 9am to finish up the other piece of drawing. whatever it is, i'm tired, and i'm gonna turn in soon.

big shout out to the two wonderful guys in my drfun class: clarence and junhao! you guys rock! thanks for letting me go off early to spend time with my darling, even though i was supposed to stay and help collect.

*they probably won't read this anyway, but what the hell. they're damn nice people. :D

2005-06-14T10:50:00.000+08:00

Eep! Looks like most of my assignments are due this and next week! But of course, after next week, I'm pretty much free! That which makes my mother very happy 'cos she wants me to go down to her office and help her out.

List of assignment due this week:

Monday:
~Typography Assignment 1 (Analysis of different types of poor and good typo)
~Creative Thinking Final Poster Submission.

Tuesday:
~Marketing Design Preliminary Submission (presentation)

Wednesday:
~Drawing Fundementals A3 size drawing of school interior
~Drawing Fundementals A2 size drawing of school exterior

Thursday:
~Photography two rolls of black and white film
~Photgraphy essay on Exhibition
~Visual Composition initial sketches and ideas

Friday:
~Colours painting part one and two.

Those in grey are already done, and in red means I haven't done them yet.
Panic, panic.

2005-06-09T00:55:00.000+08:00

i've never been so happy in such a long time.
i wish wish wish, that this happiness will last forever and ever and ever
i hate being sad.
i thrive on being happy.

thank you, for making me so happy. (:

2005-06-05T16:45:00.000+08:00

i feel oppressed.
i feel not good enough.

2005-06-04T09:34:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i've went online. i mean, without interruptions from my parents and all that. lately, the bejewelled craze has taken over my family (save me and yuki) and i barely have any time to the computer. it's always either my dad, my mom, or my sister playing bejewelled.

then of course, i used to have the tv for entertainment too. until recently, my mother borrowed a hongkong drama serial which both she and my sister loves. so my sister would watch in the day, and my mother would watch in the night. and they'll be watching the same episode.

school has been very tiring, but it's a good thing i made a lot of new friends. the people in school are very, very friendly, at least, those that i sit near to lah.

i'm going now. toodles.

2005-06-02T19:22:00.000+08:00

Your Deadly Sins

Sloth: 80%

Envy: 40%

Gluttony: 40%

Greed: 40%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 29%

You will die with your hand down your underwear, watching Star Trek.

How Sinful Are You?

i'm sorry, i don't like star trek and i will -never- watch it. period. stole this from satan's blog, but i know many others have done it too. i'm seriously being overloaded with work (what the hell am i still doing here?! i have so much work to do... ) and i really feel like asnjkhgkvnsd.heht and all that rubbish. ANYWAY. i want to watch madagascar WHO WANT TO WATCH WITH ME? and i need to go for a photography exhibition.

not to mention i still need to plan for some akltg stuff.

i shall list my homework thus far:

-complete four a3 size drawings of various things and your initial sketches
-write a 750 word report on a photography exhibition
-finish a two perspective drawing
-shoot one roll of colour film and process it
-create a means end chain of three businesses
-draw the school compound on an a2 size catridge paper
-complete five a5 sketches of posters based on a play

that's all i can think of at the top of my head. i better get started on some. toodles.

2005-05-27T13:32:00.000+08:00

layout's screwed up for a while, thanks to that library post. can't be bothered to fix it now. tired.

2005-05-27T10:27:00.000+08:00

using the library's computer to type this out.

the first week of school is over, and i'm just about dead. i think i put too much stress on
myself to do well that it becomes much too overwhelming for me. i need to get my coach
mentality back again, and i need to really do some serious managing of time. sure,
my timetable might be pretty slacked, but really six hours of lecture (which i think
are actually tuts, but they just call it lecture) is really no joke. not only that, we have
truckloads of hmk to do, that cannot be done at home.

examples? for my marketing class, go to bedok and take photos of shops and their surrounding
areas. for my basic photography class, go to a photo exhibit and write a report of 750 words
(i would write about the flowers, but really, i need to go again to have a deeper feel about
it, and it has ended).

you know in secondary school, jc and perhaps some other courses, you don't need to pass all
your tests because what matters at the end of the day is the major exam, be it o levels or a
levels. but in poly (design) you need to pass everything to graduate, whether you like it or
not. i need to push myself hard if i really want to excel. not only that, i need to do a lot
of other types of practices because as compared to everyone else around, i really don't have
that basic skills or like drawing and such.

for basic photography, we are required to purchase a SLR camera. sigh. i have to spend a lot
of money on supplies and stuff. and i feel so bad asking my parents for more money, because
my poly fees are already very much expensive. sigh. more stress yet again.

i guess it's good, because it trains us (me) to deal with the stress that i would handle in
the working world, where i have to give my 100% and do my best to score the A's in the clients
eyes for every single job i take. am i maturing? i don't know. i sure hope i am.

i'm not too concerned with the people in poly, besides some who are less outspoken and can't
really speak english that well. they're all very nice people, and i guess as freshies we're
all very shy at first.

do i doubt any minute that i made the wrong choice of poly? no. this place doesn't teach just
the skills behind design, it prepares us for the real world and develops us as well rounded
individuals. that's why i love it here (plus the really cool library). it's like what my
photography lecturer (who btw, is a really cool dude) said, "it is your previlege to study
in temasek design school."

2005-05-24T21:35:00.000+08:00

first day of school

the first day of school wasn't as bad as i expected it to be. i had to report at eight for some school briefing thingy. it was pretty boring, but it did give me a little more information. then we had some annual report and annual spenditure and all that. prize presentations, watch some video of the orientation, watch a performance by the group that won in performance night (their performance was really really cute). watch performance by the lectuers (they sang "there's no business like design business"), and by out director (he sang, "i believe). we finished at around 1230.

after which we could hang around and wait for lessons to start (they told us that all lessons would start at two). since my lessons would start at three, i went down to the library to chill for a while. i love tp's library. it's like the best feature of the school i've seen so far. (:

then after that my lecture started (my lecture consisted of 26 people, but only 20 turned up). it was my only lesson for the day, and it was marketing design. we didn't really do much, just basically a introduction to the subject and such. we learnt what marketing was, and what is the concept behind marketing. it was fun, and i love taking down notes. (:

oh, i got my timetable! all lectures, no tuts (i love the pronounciation of that. tuts.).

on mondays, i start at 12, i end at 6.
on tuesdays, i start at 3, i end at 6.
on wednesdays, i start at 3, i end at 6 (for now).
on thursdays, i start at 12, i end at 6.
on fridays, i start at 9, i end at 12.

my lectures are three hours each, once per week. i think i'm gonna have a lot of fun in school. (:

2005-05-23T15:53:00.000+08:00

life has been pretty harsh to me lately. there's nothing happy happening. and i hate that. i thrive on happy moments in life, and happy memories. but lately, everything seems so grim and serious. and not one encouraging word has been spoken. i wish sometimes some people would see that i've chosen to go through this path of life, and all i need is some people to keep encouraging me, and keep me going. that's all i need. that's all i ever need.

if life is not happy, then i'd seriously rather not live it.

school's starting tmr, and i'm really scared, sorta. i don't know what to expect, what kind of trouble i'm going to get into since i didn't turn up for the orientation, and what kind of people they'll have. i'm scared i'm not able to cope with the lessons and everything. those who know me well know that i'm not that proficient in design, or art. i'm afraid that school will also bring down my level of intellect (more importantly, my english), and maturity (not like i'm very mature now, but still).

i'm in my mother's office currently, and i've done all my work (the accounts, basically), and now i'm bored. my phone's out of batt and i feel suicidal. everything that has happened lately really brought me down. i don't feel loved.

nie: my feet are the fattest in my family. i grew up thinking i had big feet. i can't wear any of the shoes my mother buys for herself and my sister cos they're all so tiny. it's only after i met you guys then i realised my feet aren't that big. glad you like the picture (:

2005-05-22T00:14:00.000+08:00

i'm happy i talked to galvin today. it's been a while since i've had a good chat with him. sometimes i forget what a lamer he is. i guess i should thank mervyn for that, even if he did bring us all the way to jalan bukit merah for nothing. :)

i'm tired, but i'd like to say i'm not dead (as you can see from the apparent blog layout change). i think i'll blog tmr. i'm too tired to even think.

have fun, you guys. (what do you think of this design btw? i decided to use tables instead of css.)

2005-05-14T13:53:00.000+08:00

i thought maybe i should do an entry on my orientation. i'm very happy to have met a lot of friends, and the experience has been really great :)

day one-

i met up with josh at tampines bus interchange for brunch, before heading down to tp. i had burger king, and josh had nothing. when we reached there, a bunch of people in blue told us to go upstairs, and then later a bunch of people in red told us to go downstairs. (later we realised that the people in blue were the program, and the people in red were our GLs) We registered ourselves, and realised we were in the same empire- neon! coolness :) we were in different sub empires though. i was in nepo (say it really quick, it sounds like nipple) and he was in nepy (pronouced nippy).

we were introduced to our two mcs, kai (shim shim shim shim! i'll explain later) and sahari. they're two jokers. kai was dressed in a piar of weird looking pants and super high socks. then we were released in our various empires to play icebreakers. got to know a lot of fun people. after the icebreakers, we went to learn the school mass dance. i think it's stupid, really. it can be fun, if you're high enough, but it's spastic. after that we went to tampines central to play station games... nepo won all :) yaaaay for nepo! came back, debriefed, showered, slept. i didn't manage to sleep, and the person beside me didn't either, so we both went for a walk around the school and talked. i know her as may, but her name's some chinese one... yeah. slept around 4:30, and woke up around 5:30 thanks so some spastic's girls alarm clock (our reporting time was 7:30).

day two-

after i washed up and packed my stuff and everything, i had alot of free time (no thanks to those stupid alarm clocks). so i just stood outside the boys sleeping quarters for a good period of time watching the joshums sleep :) he woke up, eventually, and we had a bit of private time together before morning PT. morning PT was just pure crap lah. just some head, shoulder, ankle rotations, and some superman, batman, spiderman and ultraman shite. just to get us sweating in the sun for no reason. then we played more station games, and cos of wet weather, wet games were postponed to the next day. we learned the school's song (how cool is that? we're the only poly with a school song!) after which was the manhunt... where the winner was determined not by looks, brawns, charisma, or anything normal in a manhunt. then it was free time for us to prepare for performance night. i'll take some time to list down those people i recognise here... guess what everyone? OCP was in neon and i didn't even know that! and then leonard was there too.. i was so suprised when i saw him.

when performance night started out... kai was dressed as a girl! (explains the shim shim shim shim shim!) he was a very pretty girl. neon basically just danced to the song hey mickey, and i managed to get josh grooving a bit (though it may be just a little wierd to have "josh" and "groove" in the same sentence). yay me! and then we had a shim hunt! wow... timothy a.k.a tracy from another team won... he was extremely sexy... it was funny! :) then jam and hop started.. basically a disco night full of dancing... utterly not me... and i think i was starting to fall sick anyway, so i went outside with josh for a while.. and then i fell asleep on his lap. he say watch me sleep very fun. i think he's crazy to sit there and do nothing for two hours. he said i was whimpering in my sleep... which was because i was dreaming that i was being attacked by insects (you have no idea how many cockroaches that place had!) and it was actually josh that was tickling me. bugger. :P

day three-

basically the day started with a dancing competition, nothing too big. then it was full of wet games, had a finally showdown which we lost qutie pathetically :(. in the end we lost the total score just by two points. but it's alright, we had a lot of fun. all the prize presentations, take photos, etc then went home. i don't have too much to say, just that I DID NOT GET ATTACKED BY FLOUR! I WAS THE CLEAAANEST! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D my powers are great.

my favourite GL has got to be Jodin (i started calling him teddy bear, cos he's cuddly and cute). he seems like a mature guy, and really, i think that he has made a difference to my experience in this camp. it wouldn't be the same without him :)

of course, when i came back, i fell terribly ill. fever of 39.8 degrees, cough, sore throat, runny nose, flu, whatever. i must say i'm feeling much better now, and hopefully i can make it for the deisgn orientation (though my doctor says i better not go).

2005-05-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

today when me and josh were at some park in yishun... there was this HORRID indian guy and his girlfriend-man-lookalike.

he called me a small girl (i think cos i was wearing my little rabbit shirt) and started to swear (cheebye! x2) then he said that if we wanted to fuck go to a hotel. after which he asked me how old i was and i just glared at him and told him that he doesn't need to know and i am not going to tell him. then he threatened to call the police. i got so fed up i left.

come to think of it now... i should have let him call the police. it would have gotten him into trouble.
1. i am not underage, so even if we did anything, it will not be illegal. besides, he had no proof.
2. i can sue him for slander.
3. he spat on the bench/floor therefore he has vandalised public property, which is illegal.
4. he'll just get himself a warning from the police cos by the time they get there we'd be gone.

these people are a nuisance to society and i hope he gets drunk and kills himself in a road accident.

2005-04-28T21:24:00.000+08:00

i know i haven't been updating for a long time, and i'm sorry. nothing remotely interesting that i can let out has been happening. :D

all i can say is, life isn't fair. it doesn't take us where we want to go. i'm in a horrid mood. sigh.

2005-04-21T15:24:00.000+08:00

me and my mother had a weird conversation today via sms

me: i love yuki :)
mom: then me leh?
me: hmm.. you grow a lot of hair and bark and look cute then say
mom: then you anyhow cut my hair until i look ugly how?
me: that's the whole fun of it :)
mom: siao.

2005-04-21T14:51:00.000+08:00

i thought of something:

imagine a man driving down some weirdass highway. suddenly he sees a sign that says: HALT. he keeps on driving, though confused by the sign. anther sign says: I TOLD YOU TO STOP. he drives on, even more confused than ever. then another sign says: STOP RIGHT NOW!! he goes to park his car at the side of the road. suddenly two sexy girls come up to him and serve him wine, exotic food, etc and leave.

makes that man really happy he stopped.

until, of course, he turns back to see other cars that had stopped at the previous sign getting five girls, a lot of money, clothes, massage, and his car having some diamond polish.

my mind works in funny ways.

2005-04-20T21:57:00.000+08:00

i had a really really good time today!

met up with ade and nie, today, at bugis... i think i've been out of touch with them for too long. I'M TOO SANE! i need to go crazy again... tee hee hee! it was le fun! anyway, we went to coffee bean for coffee... and i drank some weirdass double vanilla ___?___ tea latte with ice... it was GROSS!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeekkk! but it was cool when we all whipped out our mp3 players. ade listened to her own and mine, nie listened to her own and ade's and i listened to nie's and mine... having two songs in your head is really really cool. then me and ade both played the same song on different mp3 players with different timing... it sounded surprising good!

hahahahaha... i miss you guys so much!!

met up with ze mut, and we went down to nafa to take a look at the exhibits, which were all really really cool! it's amazing how much a photograph can capture, and amazing how much a whole series of photographs can say. i'm awed. but the photographer sleeps with his models... i think that is repulsively logical. all i know is that i'll NEVER sleep with my models no matter how hot/sexy/handsome they may look.

besides that, i need to let out steam.

dragon darling, i do hope you are feeling better... and join us next time! it be fun! :D :D :D

2005-04-17T17:19:00.000+08:00

i feel really bad for keeping secrets from my parents, i just don't think they're ready to know about us yet. i want to tlet them know, so that i don't have to lie to them anymore, so that i can actually talk to them when i'm facing some problems.

but the time isn't right yet. which sucks.

2005-04-16T14:05:00.000+08:00

i know i shouldn't be feeling this way. it's dumb and stupid to. the problem is, i am feeling this way, despite what i know. why am i feeling this way, or more importantly, what am i feeling? a mix, really. nothing that i can pinpoint. there's no anger, no. grief? i'm not sure. i definitely feel stupid.

why did you do what you did? what were you thinking? was it merely out of convenience, just because i was there? you don't need to prove anything now. not to me, at least.

you know what? i don't know what to think anymore.

2005-04-12T15:50:00.000+08:00

I lay in bed, completely alone. The horrid taste of a mix between phlegm and blood lingered in my mouth. My fingers, with every last bit of strength in them, wrapped themselves around my phone. I was waiting for you, for your call. I couldn’t sleep, least the phone rang and I never answered. I stared hard at the pearl white gadget, willing you to call. But you didn’t. I began to slip in and out of consciousness, and the congestion in my lungs forbids me breath.

Then suddenly I heard a faint sound. Was it you? As quickly as I could, I looked at the phone. Yes, yes it was!

I finally heard your voice, and you said to me two things I will keep in my heart.

“Wait for me ok? I’ll be back soon.”

“I love you.”

I love you too my darling.

That, my dear friends, was what happened today.

2005-04-11T21:39:00.000+08:00

i am falling sick.

sick sick sick sick sick.

that's not good. right?

but anyway, i have been made assistant program director (apd) for a super huge event for Aacademy. therefore i will be pretty busy, even after school starts. i hereby apologise to slamd, i'm sorry i can't go out with you guys lately, esp mut, who's been calling and calling me... gomen ne!

2005-04-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

The sun was dipping low behind the mountains. The evening was warm and humid, and I had begun to feel sticky, like I haven't cleaned myself in a long time. As I stand in a field, full of fresh grass and flowers of all colours, a wave of nostalgia washed over me. That field was the place I first laid eyes on my beloved; she was lying in the shade under the oak tree, that field was the place I made wonderful love to her, and that field was the place I watched her die.

It was so painful.

When tomorrow comes, I shall be no more. I will join my beloved and we will spend eternity together. And now, I bid you farewell.

changed the blog design, and hopefully, this one would not make me so bored everytime i look at it. theme this time would be using all five senses to experience the world around you. i think i'll stick to this one better

will call up raffles medical group to see if i can collect me medical report on thursday. then i can make my way down to TP and finally finish my application. perhaps i'll get a laptop for myself (then i can play games in the bus and such), or i could just customize this pathetic computer, which i was supposed to have done pretty long ago.

ever thought how differently a guy's mind and a girl's mind think and function? how a guy's mind percieves things like marriage, frienship, loyalty, justice, much differently than a girl's one does? it's very interesting...

2005-04-01T21:26:00.000+08:00

one of my favourite aunts just got diagnosed with cancer.

suddenly i have a sense of impending doom.

life is so fragile.

2005-04-01T18:13:00.000+08:00

blogger has been a bit out of sorts lately. been wanting to update a bit, but the site always seems down. nevertheless...

haven't been doing much of late... just, snapping photos around the house, reading Ootp again, since fanfiction isn't quenching my thirst of HarryP. speaking of fanfiction, i'm in the midst of writing one, with josh, and james still hasn't returned the beta'd prologue. sad case, ain't it?

***

i really wish scott would leave american idol. his voice just can't compete with the rest. i really like anthony fedorov (i think he's really cute) , but i don't think he'll win, just as i like anwar, but i also don't think he'll win. i don't really fancy bo bice or constantine... i guess i just don't dig rockers. and this.. nikko smith guy... where the hell did he pop up from?! no lasting impressions of him. nope.

on to the girls. i simply adore carrie and vonzell. nadia's hair is too big for my liking. jessica looks like britney spears. thank god she's off the show. i wish mikalah would come back though. lindsey was just so-so for me.

on the other hand, i wish i could sing as well as they could.

***

i am anxiously waiting for the enrolment package from temasek poly to come. i'm super super nervous, 'cause i'm going to be in a totally new environment and all... with new people, new teachers, new buildings, new lessons, new ccas, new everything. my transition for primary school to secondary school wasn't that bad, because i knew majority of the people, and the building was the same. the lessons weren't that different either.

i'm guessing that the change from secondary school to junior college isn't as big as the change from secondary school to polytechnic. it's ok! i'm stretching out of my comfort zone!

.
.
.
.

i'm going to die!

2005-03-28T18:18:00.000+08:00

I made a new animation, it's supposed to be longer than what it really is... and more.. motion, but apparently, yours truly has 1. no tablet, 2. no paitience, 3. no drawing skills, and 4. no animating skills. it's here, have fun. thanks to mut for the button. :)

2005-03-27T20:35:00.000+08:00

YOUR RESULTS ARE:Number of words typed: 175
Test duration: 3 min
Speed: 58.5 words/min. (292 keystrokes/min.)
Error penalty: 10
Accuracy: 94.3%

test your skills here!

2005-03-27T20:10:00.000+08:00

Should MacDonalds be sued?

No- It is a person's own free will to eat and personal responsibility to control the amount of food that they consume.

Yes- They entice children to eat at macdonalds (playground, toys, cartoons), and children are not mature enough to control what they eat.

Yes-Dietry information on the food is not readily available, eg. it is not commonly known that chicken nuggets are made from chicken innards.

No- Dietry infomation can be found on the web, and it's a person's responsibility to find out for himself.

What do you think?

Today I wrote a letter to someone... and crushed it up. Words just simply cannot express the feelings running through inside of me... Words are not enough.

For a lot of you, do leave me a message. Tell me how have you been, what you've been up to... I'm awfully sorry that I cannot hang out with you guys...

2005-03-21T19:08:00.000+08:00

i've gotten my results! woohoooo! :D

2005-03-21T13:24:00.000+08:00

hey ya'll! i'm back from the camp! it's been such an amazing experience as a coach, and i really never thought i could love some strangers that i've just met on day one so much. i love all my participants, melissa, kevin, qi hui, kishen, vivien and wei kang. when i see them really giving they're everything during the lectures, when i see them bonding and cheering as a team, when i see them leave food for me and kenneth, their coaches, when i see them coming up to me and telling me thank you, when i see how much change they made, when i see them going onto stage to thank me and kenneth, i really, really feel so happy. i feel so elated that it simply cannot be put into words. i'm so proud of all of them, really.

and i'm so sad that these four days had to end so quickly.

but now i'm back, and i have lost my voice, and i really wanna spend time with slamd! slamd oh slamd where art thou?!!?

2005-03-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

will be away on camp from 17th to the 20th. I WILL MISS YOU GUYS!! *sobs* i'm really really nervous, being the first camp and all... and i seek the almighty nie's forgiveness that i cannot party with you on your birthday. i know it's not a stay in camp, and by the time i come home, i'll be dead tired, and it'll be pretty late.

so, till then, i will miss all of you!

2005-03-13T21:30:00.000+08:00

today i went out with nie, mut and ade! i am le happy cos i many many eons neh see them! i think i have been spending time around normal pple (sam, josh, galvin) that i seem to have forgot how to be crazy! but slamd is le crazy! me love slamd muchly!

i bought my camera from the IT fair today! minimweeee! it's powershot A95! like, finally after a million gazillion years i finally finally bought my camera! next time to save up for - tablet and mp3 player. both not urgent, so can slowly slowly take my time and save.

we watched robots today! it's veddy veddy cute! it had a lot of spoofs! there's matrix, star wars, lord of the rings, and BRITNEY SPEARS! omg the britney one was absolutely hilarious! i wouldn't mind watching it again. it's veddy veddy good! hmm.. notice out of all the shows i've watched recently, the better ones are the animations. i wonder why.

josh sent me sms yesterday! makes me very happy. me miss him muchly. well, three more days to go. i just need to make myself busy enough to not sit and sulk, and i'll be ok.

yesterday went out with galvin for coffee. it was nice hanging out with him. he's a fun guy to talk to. hey, next time you need any company can always call me. hopefully, i can give you good enough company, that is. :)

2005-03-12T13:49:00.000+08:00

hey, all those of you who think that the bus fares for poly students are unfair, click here!

2005-03-12T11:22:00.000+08:00

okay guys, enough about pie.

i'm going to be an asst coach on the 17th to the 20th. i'm nervous, very nervous. especially after what i've seen the kids from hell georgia, kim, and martina have come up with. it was quite funny as well though, i mean, a guy talking to jack and peter, his nipples? it was damn hilarious.

of course, i dread the ttp as well. i'm one of those like ramesh mentioned, i don't believe in it. when i had kanna ttp that time, the thought that was going through my head was, "why tell me this now? why not earlier? if you were so angry at me saying what i did, why tell me only now?" i guess i'll just do the whole ttp, and see if it has any changes on the batch. it should, since the ttp has helped so many people.

okay, from now till thursday, i'm going to make myself so aquainted with everything we did for the camp, i'm going to make some samples for the kids to see... (not mind maps though, i hate those!) and prepare some little presents for them...

man, what i do for the kids.

2005-03-10T12:58:00.000+08:00

okay, i think the banter on my comment board about pie is extremely amusing.

i extremely irritated by the rants and ravings of someone whom i perceive as mad. i think she extremely immature. of all things to talk about, she just goes on and on and on about a him. "i don't want to see him... cos i'm afraid... but i want to see him again..." she reads his signals right, he's bloody damn irritated with her already, and then she insists on buggering him some more.

considering that her voice is extremely disgusting, her tone is just plain gross, what she talks about just makes her sound like she's someone stupid trying to sound intelligent, i'd say she should just stop badgering him, and grow up! there is much more to life than some silly infatuation and the fear of going into a "good" jc.

i think it's extremely dumb to stop liking someone else, whom you just met, and just turn your affections elsewhere to another poor unfortunate soul just because the first guy doesn't give you the attention you want.

yes, that's what you want, attention.

another thing i cannot stand about her is the fact that she is so deluded to think that she is an ugly ducking growing into a swan. one, she is nowhere near pleasant to look at. two, she cannot sing well. that's actually fine, i can't sing well either, but i don't go around thinking that i can and irritating people with my horrid voice (just my dog). three, she exaggerates things and thinks that everyone not nice to her hates her. four, swans have grace and class, she, on the other hand, have no grace, and is extremely crude. not to mention superficial. i mean, so what if you're in swimming? must you go around proclaiming which guy has the biggest darn dick? and you horrid giggling every time you mention something "dirty" just shows how bloody immature you are.

she is also extremely stubborn and proud, refusing to listen to anyone comments about her on how to improve. thinking that they don't know her personality, that she shouldn't change just because someone else said so, esp. someone that hates her. i mean, why listen to someone that hates you, they're just doing something against your benefit, right? WRONG. firstly, none of us hate her, we just think she's very deluded. secondly, whatever anyone has said to you in the form of a criticism, is true, and is for your benefit, we'd like for you to change into a more pleasant, likable girl. since you decide not to listen, than that's your problem.

i don't think it includes alvin. he insults. (though i'm not too sure, since i haven't really seen his insults, much.)

2005-03-08T10:07:00.000+08:00

i simply cannot stand someone going around giving their so called "constructive" comments when others did not ask for it. it makes the person sound extremely stupid, and it irks me. i am irritated by the fact that that person goes around thinking that he or she knows a lot, and hands out "advice" like flyers. he or she gives out the "oh, listen to me, i'm the great almighty advisor, it's your lost if you don't heed my wise words. bah, you won't listen to me anyway" attitude.

nah uh, not working for me.

i find it disgusting. add that to the fact that he or she is so stubborn, he or she refuses to listen to any other sound advice given to him or her, it's utterly revolting. it's annoying that he or she has such low self esteem, and is giving excuses to cover up for it.

i hate the person's attitude.

and i hope that one day, something would give the person a good wake up call. show him or her that being the way he or she is now, he or she will not be able to do the things he or she is capable of.

ade? can we have a little chat. i need to rant.

2005-03-07T17:20:00.000+08:00

my mother brought me to go and see the showroom flats at toapayoh, bukit merah, and queenstown. for once, i'm happy my mother believes in fengshui. why? cos i don't want to move to either bukit merah nor queenstown! the fengshui in the showroom flat in toapayoh is better than the other three flats that we saw. but then again, my mother might not move at all, since our house is much bigger than all the show flats.

gotten into a disagreement with my mother today, about the poly i'm going to. she still insist that i made a stupid choice by chosing a poly so far away. it's so fucking irritating lor, like, what's her problem? can't she see that for the course i want, temasek is the best? GRRRR. and i hate it when my father calls me a sex maniac, please lor, i was bloody joking when i said the guys at -insert place- are stupider than the guys at -insert place-. and it was so bloody fucking long ago! why are my parents so damn annoying (esp my father)!

you know, there was a calculation error for my o level results. i didn't get eleven, i got thirteen. it doesn't matter, cos either way, i'm still going poly. and seriously, i love the poly i'm going to.

2005-03-06T15:29:00.000+08:00

i spend the entire afternoon making up a new layout. i'm not sure how it'll turn out to be like actually, whether i'll get sick of it after a while or not. but i do hope you like it. i also changed the comment system to haloscan's.

the blog's based on the song "breakaway" by kelly clarkson. i like that song. i think it's a bit overrated though. as long as i don't hear it that often, it's cool with me.

he's coming home today! yay! i do hope he'll be alright, it's been raining pretty heavily today.

2005-03-05T23:05:00.000+08:00

To Ms Chua Siok Kheng:

Initially, when we first met, I thought that you were a nice, patient teacher that could help me with my maths.

Sadly, you are neither nice, nor patient.

Imagine being hypocritical enough to smile and chat with me one tuition session, and two days later call up my mother, saying that you refuse to teach me any longer, that you thought I was a hopeless case and that I will fail my O levels.

Unfortunately, I have to burst your bubble and tell you that I did perfectly well in my O levels, scoring A1 for elementary maths and B3 for additional maths. If you have any doubt whatsoever, it only goes to show how low of a person you are, and I have no qualms in giving you a photocopy of my result slip. You cannot say that you had helped me obtain such marks because you, Ms Chua, have not been there to guide me at all.

Don’t give yourself excuses saying that you are stressed with your own students, you have many other things to do than waste your time teaching me, or you are unable to handle me. You are just not mature enough to manage yourself, your emotions and your time.

Question your integrity now, as a person and a teacher. Is it responsible of you to suddenly stop tutoring me just before my prelims? You know how important the O levels are, and you left me to fend for myself. In maths, my weakest subject, no less. It makes one wonder what kind of person you are. Inhumane? Irresponsible? Selfish? Uncompassionate? Probably all of the above, and much worse.

I absolutely hate it when someone does not believe in me, and loses faith in my abilities. It utterly irks me when that happens. I feel sorry for you, for being such a horrid person, and yet at the same time being deluded enough to think that you’re a fun loving, good teacher.

Pity, pity. You were quite cute.

My good results are no thanks to you, and you cannot say that I am making false accusations as all my arguments are backed up by the fact that you disappeared during the June holidays last year, and that you stop tutoring me just before my prelims.

My mother would like to add that she agrees with me totally, and that you are not fit to call a teacher.

Pity, pity.

-Elizabeth Goh

pity, pity was taken from vinny. hope you don't mind! this was an email i sent to my ex tutor, and i think the situation is pretty self explainatory.

2005-03-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

i'm sick and tired of hearing everyone whine about their results. seriously, stop it. it's getting damn irritating. whether you get 8, 12, 18, 22, 25 or 27 for that matter, accept it, move on, and do the best you can, be the best that you can be.

as for me, i've made a photocopy of my result slip, circled both my maths and used a red marker to write, "THIS IS NO THANKS TO YOU. hopeless case indeed. HUR." on top of it. i might need a little help from ade to pass this to a teacher in nj. her name is Chua Siok Kheng, and she sucks. i'm attempting to write her a letter of insult, but since i'm such a nice girl, i can't think of any. help me here?

i'm thinking of doing JAE as well, just for fun, to show that even with my points i want to go to poly, and hopefully change the mindset of most singaporeans that only in JC you can have a future.

watched Howl's moving castle on monday with SLAMD, Nie, Sam, and KC. seriously, i think the show rocked. i wouldn't mind watching it again. but i don't really want to pay to watch it... maybe the vcd/dvd? i'm going to watch series of unfortunate events with josh tmr. going to down TP to help him with his DAE.

speaking of that, i went down to TP yesterday to do my own DeAE, and they made me wait for five bloody hours to get one measley letter stating that they're offering me a place in TP. i had meatballs at the jupiter cafe, it was yummy :) we were special enough for the design school director to come and talk to us (he had some free time) and seriously, i can't wait to start school. he looks like(and is nicknamed) super mario(lol). he gave us a general idea of how the deisgn school works. the environment there is that we will be the very best that we can be, we will push each other, and i believe that the graduating class of 2008 will be absolutely wonderful (and that i'll be in it).

and oh, i'm thinking of joining toastmasters as a cca. it'll be fun, and i'd get to learn to public speak, and overcome pretty much a lot of other fears i have now. :)

to my dear: i love you muchly. i'll miss you when you leave, and i'll wait for your safe return.

2005-02-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

to everybody who thought that they didn't do well enough according to their standards and who is feeling lousy: think about it, is feeling lousy useful? will anything change if your feel lousy? no. so accept your grades, move on. i know it can be difficult to, and one way is that you can do that is to give yourself a time limit and throw as big as a tantrum as you want, and after which you promise yourself that you'll be ok.

i fell slightly short of my own goal, but it's good enough to let me prove to a few people that didn't believe in me that i could do it. i got 11 points.

and now my family is trying to convice me to go jc, my whole family is ganging up on me. :(

2005-02-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

I am now officially an asst coach for ALKTG! *yaaaaaaaaaaaay!*

coach training these two days were quite hell, maybe because i put a lot a lot of pressure on my self to succeed, to be better than i can, and to be better than joshua (which is quite difficult). i admit, there are times where i felt like giving up, there are times where i felt like running to the toilet to cry, hide myself there for an hour or two. it wasn't really the techniques that put me off, it was the emotional stress i gave myself to accomplish the things i am supposed to do. yet, something inside of me just repeated many times, "look how far you've come? are you gonna throw this all away? go a little furthur, take one milestone at a time..." in the end, i could pretend i was confident, pretend i was upbeat and outgoing.

and i did succeed.

not to mention almost the whole akltg now knows me and josh are together, thanks to a couple of big mouths.

2005-02-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

i'm thinking of persuing teaching when i grow up. but first i'd like to finish my diploma. my mother, on the other hand, thinks i shouldn't do visual comm and go straight into teaching. food and nutrition, she wants. sheesh. sometimes i think how wonderful it is to be a teacher. all the perks are really very good, salary, etc, and working with kids... but then again, i think of how the kids talk behind their teachers back and then i start to doubt whether i should teach or not...

maybe relief teaching?

tell me what you think of the profession. :)